The Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission

Homosexuality: Your Questions Answered

By Fellows of the Research Institute - Jun 15, 2005 - 28

General Questions

How is homosexuality being normalized in American culture?

Even a casual observer would agree that homosexuality has made major strides toward being normalized in our culture today. The evidence is all around us in entertainment, news media, education, politics, and even the business world. Misrepresentation of scientific research on homosexuality is prominent and widely accepted as fact.

The emphasis is the same in each of these areas: Tolerance and compassion demand that we accept homosexuality as the moral equivalent of heterosexuality. Terms like “bigot” and “homophobic” are thrown around loosely and usually incorrectly. Slogans and pithy sayings take the place of reasoned discourse.

It is not enough to disagree with those who believe the Bible’s teachings that homosexuality is sin. They must be given labels such as bigot or hater. One of the more recent tactics is to label Bible-believing Christians as being guilty of spiritual violence. Regardless of how compassionately or lovingly homosexuality is denounced, the culture calls this an incitement of hatred against gays.

We should be aware, however, that these conditions did not come about by chance. In the 1980’s gay activists discussed strategies for impacting the culture. Two activists published a book entitled After the Ball: How America Will Conquer Its Fear & Hatred of Gays in the 90’s in an attempt to normalize the homosexual lifestyle. Among the various strategies suggested were:

• Talk about gays and gayness as loudly and as often as possible.
• Portray gays as victims, not as aggressive challengers.
• Give protectors a just cause.
• Make gays look good.
• Make the victimizers look bad.
• Get into the major media.
• Solicit funds: The buck stops here.

These strategies are progressively taking root, but we must be courageous to stand in truth and compassion on this issue.

At the same time, we should be willing to acknowledge that the conservative church is not blameless. We have failed to uphold God’s standard for the home and sexuality in general and we have not been as diligent as we could have been in building the foundations that would help prevent homosexuality.

Finally, too often when those who struggle with homosexuality have reached out for help, the church hasn’t known how to respond as it should. Our churches must become lighthouses for those who struggle with sexual brokenness. They must be “safe” for the strugglers and for the friends and families of those who struggle. Only then will we be in a position to reverse the trend toward normalization of that which Scripture clearly calls sin.

Bob Stith is the pastor of Carroll Baptist Church in Southlake, Texas. He has a bachelor’s degree from Samford University and an M.Div. from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. Bob has been involved in Exodus International for over 10 years. He has spoken at many churches and Exodus related events. He has also written several articles on the subject of homosexuality and the church. Bob is chairman of the board for Living Hope Ministries, an Exodus-affiliated ministry in Dallas-Fort Worth. Bob and his wife, Del, live in Southlake, Texas.

If a person engages in a homosexual act does this mean he/she is a homosexual?

No, if a person engages in a homosexual act this does not mean he or she is a homosexual. On this basis, a clear distinction must be made between referencing someone as a homosexual versus homosexual behavior.

First and foremost, a homosexual person simply does not exist. Homosexuality should be considered as an adjective—a behavior—and not as a noun or label defining a person. Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, one of the foremost experts on the causes of homosexuality as a sexual disorder and founder of NARTH, National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, states, “There is no such thing as a homosexual person. We are all heterosexuals. Homosexuality is a description of a condition. It is not a description of the intrinsic nature of the person” (NARTH’s Statement of Policy). Given his statement, then, men and women who consider themselves homosexual are really intrinsically heterosexual but they have a sexual identity problem and, as a result, might engage in homosexual behavior.

Another important point to mention concerns children and teenagers. Some young people question whether they might be gay because they are attracted to the personality or charisma of a same-gender peer. Occasionally, a person may act upon this curiosity through homosexual activity, but this does not mean that he or she is homosexual.

A major study by the University of Minnesota Hospital and Clinics on homosexual and heterosexual attractions, orientation, identification, and behavior among adolescents revealed data concerning young people and sexual identity. The study revealed that many young people may be confused about their sexuality in their early teens, but among this uncertain group, the vast majority will turn out to be heterosexual¹. At age twelve, 25.9% of the children were “unsure” of their sexual orientation. However, this figure declined to 5% by age 17². For many people, uncertainty about sexual identity and feelings is a normal part of growing up. This uncertainty, though, does not mean a young person is struggling with a deeper-rooted sexual identity disorder.

Being drawn emotionally, romantically, and erotically to someone of the same gender is complex indeed. There are many factors that can contribute to homosexual feelings and desires. One’s family dynamics play a role, as do childhood peer relationships, and sexual abuse.

For expert research, articles, and resources into the causes, prevention, and treatment of homosexuality consult NARTH. Their website address is http://www.narth.com . Their telephone number is 818/789-4440 and their mailing address is 16633 Ventura Boulevard, Suite 1340, Encino, California, 91436-1801. Exodus International, North America, also has available numerous articles, testimonials, and resources. Exodus is on the web at http://www.exodus.to , or contact them by telephone at 888/264-0877, or mail at P.O. Box 540119, Orlando, Florida, 32854.

¹ “Demography of Sexual Orientation in Adolescents,” Pediatrics, the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics (Vol. 89, April 1992. Abstract available online). The authors, Gary Remafedi, MD, MPH; Michel Resnick, PhD; Robert Blum, MD, PhD; and Linda Harris based their study on five questions on sexuality included among 189 questions in the Minnesota Adolescent Health Survey, a study involving 34,706 students in Minnesota secondary schools carefully selected as to demographic criteria.

² Ibid.

Melissa Fryrear, M.Div, is the Gender Issues Analyst in the Legislative and Cultural Affairs Department at Focus on the Family. She is a graduate of the University of Kentucky and holds a Masters in Divinity from Asbury Theological Seminary. She also serves Exodus International as a Regional Representative. Melissa has overcome lesbianism and shares her testimony in numerous venues including Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out Conference. For more information: 719/548-5967.

If a person has same-sex attractions but does not engage in homosexual acts, does this mean he/she is a homosexual?

Similar to the previous question, an important point to mention first is the distinction that needs to be made with regard to referencing someone as a homosexual versus homosexual behavior.

As previously stated, a homosexual person does not exist. Homosexuality should be considered as an adjective—a behavior—and not as a noun or label defining a person. Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, one of the foremost experts on the causes of homosexuality as a sexual disorder and founder of NARTH, National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, states, “There is no such thing as a homosexual person. We are all heterosexuals. Homosexuality is a description of a condition. It is not a description of the intrinsic nature of the person” (NARTH’s Statement of Policy). Given his statement, then, men and women who consider themselves homosexual are really intrinsically heterosexual but they have a sexual identity problem and, as a result, might struggle with same-sex attractions, or engage in homosexual behaviors.

While having same-sex attractions does not mean someone is a homosexual, this situation also should not be dismissed or overlooked. Sexual attractions for one’s same gender, regardless of whether the behavior has been engaged, do not exist within a vacuum; there are specific reasons and specific “root” factors contributing to these attractions that need to be addressed.

Being drawn emotionally, romantically, and erotically to someone of the same gender is complex indeed. There are many factors that can contribute to homosexual feelings and desires. One’s family dynamics play a role, as do childhood peer relationships, and sexual abuse, to name a few. Given the weight of these influences, it often warrants seeking help from a professional Christian counselor familiar with homosexual issues or an organization specializing in this area of ministry, for example those ministries associated with Exodus International, North America.

For expert research, articles, and resources into the causes, prevention, and treatment of homosexuality consult NARTH. Their website address is http://www.narth.com . Their telephone number is 818/789-4440 and their address is 16633 Ventura Boulevard, Suite 1340, Encino, California, 91436-1801. Exodus International, North America, also has available numerous articles, testimonials, resources, and a list of Member Ministries. Exodus is on the web at http://www.exodus.to , or contact them by telephone at 888/264-0877, or mail at P.O. Box 540119, Orlando, Florida, 32854.

Melissa Fryrear, M.Div, is the Gender Issues Analyst in the Legislative and Cultural Affairs Department at Focus on the Family. She is a graduate of the University of Kentucky and holds a Masters in Divinity from Asbury Theological Seminary. She also serves Exodus International as a Regional Representative. Melissa has overcome lesbianism and shares her testimony in numerous venues including Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out Conference. For more information: 719/548-5967.

Theological Questions

Did God design some people to be homosexuals?

The short answer is “No!” But clearly the reigning sentiment in our society is that homosexuality is genetic. In both news and entertainment programs this idea is often stated as fact, as something that all intelligent people believe.

One reason for this is the pressure applied by powerful special interest groups. The Wall Street Journal reported on August 12, 1993, that to suggest that current biological-cause theories are unsubstantiated is to risk one’s career. New York psychiatrist William Byne said, “I’m told my criticism is not politically correct…What they are saying, therefore, is that I should subjugate scientific rigor to political expediency.”

However, as Aldous Huxley said, “Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.” The fact is that no scientifically accepted, replicable studies presently exist that clearly demonstrate that homosexuality is genetic.

Studies do exist, however, showing that homosexuals who desire to change can do so. These studies have not received the same level of media coverage as the flawed studies.

One such study was done by Dr. Robert Spitzer, who led the charge in the 1970’s to remove homosexuality from a list of mental disorders. The results of his study were published in October 2003. Even though his study is one of the most recent published, it is rarely if ever mentioned in media coverage.

Many reputable therapists believe that while genes may be predictive of behavior, environment and choice determine behavior. Because as Paul says, “[We] were dead in trespasses and sins, …and were by nature children of wrath” (Ephesians 2:1-3), we each may have certain sins to which we are more inclined than others.

That is why the Bible is so clear that we need to be born again. Temptation will not automatically disappear when we place our trust in Christ, but we will have a new nature and a new power within to deal with the power of sin.

Those who want to insist on genetic determination are perpetuating a tragic myth and robbing those who genuinely want to turn from what they believe to be sin.

While the world may argue and debate this issue, there are thousands among us today who can say, “One thing I know: that though I was blind, now I see” (John 9:25).

When you have been privileged to share abundant life with these men and women and have seen the joy in their eyes, when you have seen them achieve dreams they never thought possible, the false claims of special interest groups are easily exposed.

For expert research, articles, and resources into the causes, prevention, and treatment of homosexuality consult NARTH. Their website address is http://www.narth.com. Their telephone number is 818/789-4440 and their address is 16633 Ventura Boulevard, Suite 1340, Encino, California, 91436-1801. Exodus International, North America, also has available numerous articles, testimonials, resources, and a list of Member Ministries. Exodus is on the web at http://www.exodus.to, or contact them by telephone at 888/264-0877, or mail at P.O. Box 540119, Orlando, Florida, 32854.

Also, for a more thorough examination see:
Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth by Jeffrey Satinover, Baker Book House, 1996.
Transformed into His Image by David Kyle Foster, Mastering Life Ministries, 2004, pp 214-217.
101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality by Mike Haley, Harvest House Publishers, 2004, pp 189-192.

Bob Stith is the pastor of Carroll Baptist Church in Southlake, Texas. He has a bachelor’s degree from Samford University and an M.Div. from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. Bob has been involved in Exodus International for over 10 years. He has spoken at many churches and Exodus related events. He has also written several articles on the subject of homosexuality and the church. Bob is chairman of the board for Living Hope Ministries, an Exodus-affiliated ministry in Dallas-Fort Worth. Bob and his wife, Del, live in Southlake, Texas.

What is Gay Theology?

“Gay Theology” is a term commonly used to describe the belief that homosexuality and Christianity are compatible, and that the Bible does not condemn homosexual behavior. Gay Theology is often referred to as “Revisionist Theology,” since it in essence reinterprets the Old and New Testament Scriptures, which have traditionally been viewed as condemnations of homosexuality, and revises them with a different, pro-homosexual interpretation. Most proponents of gay theology claim to hold orthodox views on the basics of the Christian faith, departing from tradition only on the matter of sexual ethics. Others depart entirely from orthodoxy, rejecting not only the traditional view of homosexuality, but doctrines of the Trinity, the atonement, and the inerrancy of the Bible as well. The best known defenders of Gay Theology would include Dr. Mel White of Soul Force, the late Dr. John Boswell of Yale University, and Rev. Peter Gnomes of Harvard University. Their collective writings and efforts contribute largely to the debates many churches and mainline denominations are having over the validity of Gay Theology.

For the most popular examples of Gay Theology, see Christianity, Social Tolerance and Homosexuality by Dr. John Boswell (University of Chicago Press 1980) and What The Bible Really Says About Homosexuality by Daniel Helminiak (Alamo Square Press 2000). For rebuttals to Gay Theology, see A Strong Delusion by Joe Dallas (Harvest House 1996) and The Bible and Homosexual Practice: Text and Hermeneutics by Robert Gagnon (Abingdon Press 2002)

Joe Dallas is the Program Director of Genesis Counseling, an Exodus International member agency in Tustin, California. He is the author of three books on human sexuality, including Desires in Conflict (Harvest House 1991) and A Strong Delusion (Harvest House 1996). He lectures on a national level at churches and conferences, and is a regularly featured speaker with the Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out conference.

What does the Bible say about homosexuality?

The Bible is very clear about its condemnation of homosexual conduct. Both the Old and New Testaments speak with one voice on this subject. In spite of the publicity given to pro-gay theologians in recent years, serious and consistent exegetical study still allows no other interpretation.

Those who take seriously the authority of God’s Word should be aware that perhaps no subject poses a greater threat to the place of Scripture in our world today. If the world (and too often, even the church) can be convinced that we can ignore what the Bible teaches about homosexuality, then every other teaching of Scripture can be rationalized. Rejecting its teachings means confidence in the Bible as the inspired Word of God will be seriously eroded.

Unfortunately, Christians have not taken the time to prepare to defend the truth we believe. We may be familiar with the relevant passages, but simply quoting those passages will do nothing for those who have taken the time to understand the pro-gay arguments.

Those arguments usually will be based on one or more of the following approaches to the Bible:

• References to homosexuality are simply relics of the culture at a certain time and place. Generally this argument does not deny what the Bible says; it just relegates it to a particular era of ignorance and prejudice.
• The words used for homosexuality have been misunderstood and/or misinterpreted. These words don’t refer to homosexuality as we know it today.
• Those who wrote the relevant passages of Scripture had no knowledge or understanding of committed gay relationships. Consequently, these passages only refer to specific homosexual acts and not homosexuality as a whole.
• Jesus never said one word about homosexuality.
• These arguments conveniently overlook several key factors. The passages that speak against homosexuality were written over a span of several hundred years. They began in the wilderness of Judea and continued into the cosmopolitan cities of Greece and Rome. These Scriptures included the theocentric nation of Israel as well as the multicultural and idol saturated cities of the New Testament. God clearly intended to call cultures to conform to His Word.

The arguments regarding word definitions simply will not hold up under serious scholarly examination. Ironically, gay activists often argue that those who believe what the Bible says are guilty of shoddy scholarship. However, the record of both Testaments as well as the Septuagint speaks with one voice on this issue. Consistent application of accepted exegetical principles leaves no gray area here. Neither do these principles allow the distinction of one type of homosexual act from another.

One of the most frequently repeated quotes heard on talk shows, letters to the editor, and in general conversation is that Jesus never mentioned homosexuality. John, however, states that Jesus said many things that were not recorded (John 21:25). Beyond this, Jesus made it clear that He considered the writings of the Old Testament to be authoritative and trustworthy. The fact that nothing He said about homosexuality is recorded would most reasonably indicate that He saw no reason to add to or change what already was recorded. Jesus also never mentioned pedophilia, wife beating, or drug abuse. Even in a post-modern world it would be difficult to make the argument that He was unconcerned about these issues.

The Bible is also very clear that any and all sexual relationships outside of marriage are forbidden. It is equally clear that marriage is to be between a man and a woman.

There is yet one final consideration that I’ve not seen addressed. In all the passages relating to homosexuality, the home, and sexuality in general, not a single passage can be found that in any way legitimizes or speaks positively of homosexuality.

While the Bible is quite clear about the sin of homosexuality, it is also clear about the promise of power to overcome this sin as well as others (1 Corinthians 6:11). The message of the Bible is a message of hope based on the love of God. He does love each of us just as we are, but He loves us too much to leave us as we are.

For a more thorough examination of the relevant passages (Genesis 19; Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:22-29; 1 Corinthians 6:9; 1 Timothy 1:10; Jude 1:7) see:
“Homosexuality and the Bible” by Dr. Albert Mohler (Southern Baptist Theological Seminary published this booklet but it is also available online at http://www.albertmohler.com);
Desires in Conflict by Joe Dallas (Harvest House Publishers, 2003);
Homosexuality and the Bible: Two Views by professors Dan O. Via and Robert A. J. Gagnon (Minneapolis: Fortress, 2003);
Fact Sheet on Homosexuality on the LifeWay website.

Bob Stith is the pastor of Carroll Baptist Church in Southlake, Texas. He has a bachelor’s degree from Samford University and an M.Div. from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. Bob has been involved in Exodus International for over 10 years. He has spoken at many churches and Exodus related events. He has also written several articles on the subject of homosexuality and the church. Bob is chairman of the board for Living Hope Ministries, an Exodus-affiliated ministry in Dallas-Fort Worth. Bob and his wife, Del, live in Southlake, Texas.

Can a person be a Christian and a homosexual?

At a press conference at the Southern Baptist Convention’s 2003 annual meeting in Phoenix, Dr. Richard Land addressed that very question. Dr. Land commented that he had known several men and women who were homosexuals but whom he believed had a relationship with Christ. He said that he believed they were simply mistaken on the issue of homosexuality.

This question demonstrates the difficulty many Christians have in seeing homosexuality differently than other sins. I know some Christians who collect speeding tickets the way Carl Lewis collected gold medals. Some have radar detectors to help them avoid “speed traps.” But the Bible tells us to submit to the laws of our country. Can a person who continually ignores traffic laws be saved? Are we responsible only for the laws we deem reasonable?

What about anger? When all other efforts have failed, some defend their anger as being “righteous” anger. But it usually is manifested in distinctly unrighteous ways.

Part of the difficulty is that while evangelicals interpret the demand for the acceptance of homosexuality as a demand for the acceptance of sin, gay activists insist that no sin has been committed. How can sin be forgiven if it is not confessed?

Two concepts should be kept in mind here. The first is the doctrine of the security of the believer. The Bible clearly states that once we are saved we are saved forever, kept by the power of Jesus that neither a one-time lapse nor a bondage can change. So the real question is whether a practicing homosexual was ever truly saved.

The second concept is one that I believe Christians overlook almost entirely. The Bible makes it clear that God has designed us to live joyful, abundant, overcoming lives in continual fellowship with Him. If we fully experience this relationship, we know that nothing this world has to offer can compare.

If we know this both experientially and doctrinally, then our greatest desire should be to help others know that as well. We don’t have to “prove” homosexuals wrong; we can simply state that those living outside God’s revealed will can never know all that God has planned for them. We can then leave the convicting to the Holy Spirit.

Homosexuality, like every other sin, will reap consequences one way or another. And as for “punishment” for willful sin, that too is best left for God to determine. But the surest and most grievous “punishment” is a relationship with God broken by sin and, consequently, devoid of His peace and joy.

Bob Stith is the pastor of Carroll Baptist Church in Southlake, Texas. He has a bachelor’s degree from Samford University and an M.Div. from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. Bob has been involved in Exodus International for over 10 years. He has spoken at many churches and Exodus related events. He has also written several articles on the subject of homosexuality and the church. Bob is chairman of the board for Living Hope Ministries, an Exodus-affiliated ministry in Dallas-Fort Worth. Bob and his wife, Del, live in Southlake, Texas.

Biological/Psychological Questions

Is there a connection between homosexuality and predatory behavior, like pedophilia?

We cannot presume that all homosexuals are at a higher risk level to molest children or develop into pedophiles than are heterosexuals. Nor would it be appropriate to allow the label homosexual and pedophile to become interchangeable. At the same time, homosexual men who are unable to sustain healthy peer relationships might well find the potential for age-inappropriate attractions more real than they thought possible.

In the last two decades, the issue of child molestation has become front-page news as adults have come forward with accounts of being abused as children. The most sensational of these accounts have involved Catholic priests who were known by their superiors to have molested. These men were often transferred to new parishes by these same superiors, and the abuse continued. In most of these publicized accounts, the victims, though not always, were male children. To most observers, the speculated connection between homosexuality and pedophilia once whispered about went from speculation to declared fact despite any proof to justify that sweeping connection.

As a community, however, gays and lesbians attempt to distance themselves from pedophiles despite statistics that show a higher ratio of young victims for homosexual males compared to heterosexual males as well as a higher per capita ratio of offenses. By definition, however, pedophilia is neither a homosexual nor a heterosexual condition.

As with homosexuality, there is no conclusive genetic link for pedophilia, suggesting the potential that both share stages of development that have strong environmental components. At the risk of generalizing, homosexuals and lesbians lack healthy same-gender identification; pedophiles lack a healthy ability to feel connected in their position as adults among other adults. Perceived as rejected by the adult world, fixated pedophiles find children to be trusting recipients of their attention and eventually of their sexual advances.

The male pedophile lacking healthy same-gender identification as well as a tangible connection to the adult world is most apt to have male victims. The male pedophile secure in his gender identification but feeling out of control in the world of adults—especially in terms of developing intimate relationships—will be more likely to have female victims. In both, however, the element of control is a primary focus whether that control is through emotional manipulation or physical violence.

Both homosexuality and pedophilia share an arrested sexual and emotional development. While similarities exist that might promote arguments for the link implied in the question, one condition does not necessarily lead to the other.

Bob Van Domelen has been affiliated with Exodus International since 1992, is executive director of Broken Yoke Ministries, and currently serves as a Regional Representative for Exodus International. Editor of Into the Light and Wellspring (bimonthly newsletters) and author of several booklets, he has spoken at conferences, directed workshops, and interviewed on both radio and TV. Booklets written on the issue of child molestation and sex offenders include: “Darkness Now Light,” “Help for Adults Attracted to Children,” and “The Church, the Sex Offender, and Reconciliation”—all available through Regeneration Books.

Is there scientific evidence that homosexuality is inborn?

To date there is none, though a number of studies since 1991 have initially reported a proven link between genetics and sexual orientation. The best known of these would include research on brain structures by Dr. Simon LeVay, formerly of the Salk Institute in La Jolla, CA; studies of identical and non-identical twins by Drs. Pillard and Bailey; and gene studies by Dr. Dean Hamer. In most cases, results of these studies were publicized with enormous media fanfare, then subsequently discounted by later research. While the conductors of these studies have cautioned against assuming that a “gay gene” or inborn “cause and effect” factor has been discovered, countless educators, journalists, and commentators have insisted homosexuality has been proven to be inborn when in fact, such proof has yet to be produced.

For a fuller discussion of the “Born Gay?” question, see My Genes Made Me Do It by Neil and Briar Whitehead (Huntington House Publishers 1999) and Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth by Jeffrey Satinover (Maker House 1996).

Joe Dallas is the Program Director of Genesis Counseling, an Exodus International member agency in Tustin, California. He is the author of three books on human sexuality, including Desires in Conflict (Harvest House 1991) and A Strong Delusion (Harvest House 1996). He lectures on a national level at churches and conferences, and is a regularly featured speaker with the Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out conference.

Cultural/Sociolocial Questions

What is wrong with homosexual marriage?

The debate over same-sex marriage is a debate over marriage itself. Same-sex marriage advocates are describing marriage as an essentially private, intimate, emotional relationship created by two people for their own personal reasons to enhance their own personal well-being: marriage is created by the couple, for the couple. The problem with this view is that it leads to the conclusion that marriage is just one, equally valid, lifestyle choice among many, including cohabitation and informal unions. The traditional view of marriage, however, saw marriage as a public good. Marriage is a public tie that obligates fathers to their children. It is the sexual union where childbearing and raising is not only tolerated, but encouraged. By socially defining and supporting a particular type of sexual union, society defines for its youth what the preferred relationship is and what purposes it serves. The traditional view of marriage recognizes that children need mothers and fathers, that societies need babies, and that adults have an obligation to shape their sexual behavior so as to give their children stable families in which to grow up. While it is true that there are many strains placed on marriage in today’s society, including high divorce rates, endorsing same-sex marriage will only make it worse. Same-sex marriage would enshrine in law a public judgment that the personal desires of adults for families of choice, based on sexual preference, outweigh the needs of children for mothers and fathers.

Same-sex marriage also will hurt children. Children raised outside of intact marriages where there is a mother and a father are at greater risk for a large number of serious personal and social problems, including increased drug addiction, depression, and sexual promiscuity. Furthermore, children raised in single-sex households experience an increase in infant mortality by about 50%.

Same-sex marriage hurts those in the relationship as well. Homosexuality is a destructive lifestyle both physically and emotionally. One study of male homosexuality found that few relationships last longer than two years, with many men reporting hundreds of partners. Many men in long-term relationships have “open relationships,” in which the men understand that they will have frequent partners on the side. Without question, same-sex activity also significantly increases disease, including AIDS, Hepatitis, syphilis and gonorrhea, and decreases life expectancy.

On a larger level, same-sex marriage will hurt marriage itself. Studies of Scandinavian countries, where they have the equivalent of Vermont-style civil unions, show that marriage is slowly dying. The tendency there is to marry only after giving birth to the second child. Same-sex marriage will separate for society parenthood from marriage because legalizing same-sex marriage equalizes same-sex relations (which, by design, cannot produce their own children) with marriage and parenthood. In doing so, the necessary link between marriage and parenthood are severed, and the structure of children raised with a mom and a dad suffers. It is one thing to tolerate personal relationships that are different than ours, but it is quite another thing for society to elevate such a relationship to a preferred status, and that’s what same-sex marriage would do. Once we say that same-sex couples have a right to have their commitments recognized by the state, it becomes next to impossible to deny the same right to polygamous, or even cohabiting relatives and friends. And once everyone’s relationship is recognized, marriage is gone, and only a system of flexible relationship contracts is left.

While same-sex marriage will likely not hurt your marriage, it will damage the culture. Do you really want your children to open up the pages of The Washington Post or your local newspaper, turning to the kids’ section, and reading an article entitled “Defining Marriage,” which tells your child how “normal” it is for two people of the same sex to be married? That is what The Washington Post did in an article published just for kids. Legalizing same-sex marriage would make these events common, everyday occurrences. Is it honestly appropriate to encourage children to experiment with their “sexual identity” at such a tender age? You may not think same-sex marriage will affect you, but you are wrong. It will affect you, and most importantly it will affect children. We have no right to experiment with their destiny.

Liberty Counsel is a nonprofit litigation, education, and policy organization, whose mission is to restore the culture one case at a time by advancing religious freedom, the sanctity of human life, and the traditional family. Mathew Staver, President and General Counsel, founded Liberty Counsel in 1989. Headquartered in Orlando, Florida, Liberty Counsel has offices in Lynchburg, Virginia on the campus of Liberty University School of Law, and has hundreds of affiliate attorneys around the country. Liberty Counsel has been involved in almost every major battle over same-sex marriage, including the first suit filed to stop San Francisco from performing same-sex marriages. Staver serves on the Board of Trustees for Liberty University, is Chairman of the Law School Steering Committee for Liberty University School of Law, and is Vice President of Law and Policy for Liberty University. On the campus of Liberty University School of Law in Lynchburg, Virginia, Liberty Counsel’s Center for Constitutional Litigation and Policy trains attorneys, law students, policymakers, legislators, clergy, and world leaders in constitutional principles and government policies. In August 2004, Broadman & Holman Publishers released Mat’s new book, Same-Sex Marriage: Putting Every Household at Risk. For more information: http://www.lc.org or 800/671-1776.

Should homosexuality be legally favored?

In order to bolster their argument, the homosexual movement has sought to ride the coat-tails of the civil rights movement, pointing out that they too are unfairly discriminated against. Same-sex marriage, however, is not a civil rights issue and has nothing in common with the civil rights movement. Perhaps that explains why prominent African-American and Hispanic leaders and pastors have publicly rejected the analogy. All five protected categories in the federal Civil Rights Act of 1965—race, color, religion, sex, and national origin—have several things in common. Each category has a long history of documented, widespread discrimination. Each has suffered economic disadvantage as a direct result of the discrimination. And each has immutable characteristics. Sexual preference possesses none of these characteristics.

Despite the rhetoric and undocumented statements of discrimination, there is no real evidence of long-standing, widespread discrimination based on “sexual orientation.” In places throughout the country where cities have added sexual orientation to nondiscrimination codes, statistics have shown that there are few, if any, legitimate claims of discrimination based on “sexual orientation.” In comparison, there were clearly dependable statistics regarding discrimination against people of color and women during the debates that gave birth to the Civil Rights of 1964.

Instead of economic discrimination, the homosexual household enjoys an economic advantage over the average husband-wife household. One census reported that male same-sex couples have household incomes 24% higher than married couples. Other studies have shown that twice as many college-educated men identify themselves as homosexual as men with high school educations, and eight times more college-educated women are likely to identify themselves as lesbians as are women with a high school education. Homosexuals, therefore, are not suffering economically as a result of their sexual orientation.

In addition to the economic power, the homosexual community also has political power, as evidenced by the strides they have made during the past few years. Throughout the country, cities have added sexual orientation to their nondiscrimination laws, created domestic partner registries, and granted same-sex couples rights previously only available to married couples. Homosexual advocacy organizations are among the most highly funded special interest groups in the country.

Although the lack of economic discrimination alone should preclude special treatment based on sexual preference, a person’s sexual preference does not meet the immutability requirement. The definition of “sexual orientation” itself highlights this point. It not only includes heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, and questioning, but also gender identity and gender expression. In fact, homosexual activists now define gender as fluid and ever-changing. That does not sound at all like an immutable characteristic. Even more telling is that no reputable studies have demonstrated that homosexuality is genetic. Significantly, Dr. Robert Spitzer, the man who was instrumental in pushing the American Psychiatric Association to declassify homosexuality as a mental disorder, has now acknowledged that homosexuals can become heterosexuals. This is bolstered by testimonies of hundreds of people who have left the homosexual lifestyle.

The only reason the “born that way” propaganda has played so well with the media is for purely political reasons. In the 1990s two homosexual advocates candidly set forth their media campaign in their best-selling book, After the Ball: How America Will Conquer its Fears & Hatred of Gays in the 90s. They explained that to “suggest in public that homosexuality might be chosen is to open the can of worms labeled moral choice and sin …” In other words, the only way homosexuals can advance their agenda is to convince Americans that they are born that way. In so doing, they play on the American conscience that it would be wrong not to elevate same-sex relationships to the same status as marriage.

The lack of documented discrimination, high levels of economic success, and lack of any evidence establishing its immutability, preclude defining a class based on sexual preference.

Liberty Counsel is a nonprofit litigation, education, and policy organization, whose mission is to restore the culture one case at a time by advancing religious freedom, the sanctity of human life, and the traditional family. Mathew Staver, President and General Counsel, founded Liberty Counsel in 1989. Headquartered in Orlando, Florida, Liberty Counsel has offices in Lynchburg, Virginia on the campus of Liberty University School of Law, and has hundreds of affiliate attorneys around the country. Liberty Counsel has been involved in almost every major battle over same-sex marriage, including the first suit filed to stop San Francisco from performing same-sex marriages. Staver serves on the Board of Trustees for Liberty University, is Chairman of the Law School Steering Committee for Liberty University School of Law, and is Vice President of Law and Policy for Liberty University. On the campus of Liberty University School of Law in Lynchburg, Virginia, Liberty Counsel’s Center for Constitutional Litigation and Policy trains attorneys, law students, policymakers, legislators, clergy, and world leaders in constitutional principles and government policies. In August 2004, Broadman & Holman Publishers released Mat’s new book, Same-Sex Marriage: Putting Every Household at Risk. For more information: http://www.lc.org or 800/671-1776.

What do the homosexual activists really want?

In the book After the Ball: How America Will Conquer its Fears & Hatred of Gays in the 90s, the author argues that homosexuals should convert society by desensitizing it to the homosexual lifestyle. The book goes on to state that “Gays can undermine the moral authority of homo-hating churches over less fervent adherent by portraying . . . them as antiquated backwaters, badly out of step . . . with the latest findings of psychology.” Plainly, their goal is not to gain acceptance, but to dominate.

One of the primary stepping stones in their efforts to conquer is to eliminate the concept of gender. If there were no gender, then any and all forms of sexual conduct would be permissible. Homosexual activists maintain that gender can be whatever a person wants at any given time. As a result, a new term surfacing among homosexual activists is the notion of “gender fluidity,” meaning that one’s gender can be fluid, alternating from male and female. To accomplish the transformation of American minds, they are targeting our youth.

One activist explained that “Whoever captures the kids owns the future.” Recognizing the importance of capturing the minds of our children, homosexual groups have developed strategies to teach youth that exploration of one’s sexual identity is health and normal. For example, Outright Vermont explains in a 2000 report that its “target population” is youth between ages fourteen and twenty-two and provides highlights of its government-funded activities conducted for public school students. These included “safe sex parties,” which provided “fun exploration of sexuality & safe sex activities” and training in proper needle-cleaning techniques for those using hormones to alter gender characteristics.

Another organization, GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) has a guide designed for use in public schools to eradicate “institutionalized heterosexism.” It asks students whether gender-specific bathrooms and locker rooms are the only option in the school, and whether proms and athletic events have exclusive votes for kings and queens. PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) created a brochure for students entitled “Be Yourself: Questions and Answers for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth,” which contains recommended reading that encourages exploration of one’s “sexual identity” at an early age. For example, some of the recommended material states, “My first experience was with a much older man … When I was fifteen, he must have been twenty-nine, thirty … I seduced him … It was a wild night.” Another source declares, “For gay liberation to have any value for youth, people must be reminded, preferably in fifth- or sixth-grade sex education classes, that gay is not only good, but probably a part of most sexual make-ups.” PFLAG also explains that “being GLBT [gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transsexual] is as much a human variation as being left-handed . … One or two sexual experiences with someone of the same sex may not mean you’re gay … GLBT people have some sexual experiences with the opposite gender. … Your school years are a time of figuring out what works for you, and crushes and experimentation are often part of that.” What you need to understand is that GLSEN and PFLAG are not considered radical organizations; they are part of the mainstream homosexual movement.

Capturing the minds of our youth is but one plank in their efforts to oppress people of faith. Already in other countries people face prosecution for merely expressing opposition to homosexuality: it is “hate speech” to quote Biblical references to homosexuality. It is no exaggeration to say that you should speak now or forever hold your peace—if we do not stand up now, we will soon be silenced.

Liberty Counsel is a nonprofit litigation, education, and policy organization, whose mission is to restore the culture one case at a time by advancing religious freedom, the sanctity of human life, and the traditional family. Mathew Staver, President and General Counsel, founded Liberty Counsel in 1989. Headquartered in Orlando, Florida, Liberty Counsel has offices in Lynchburg, Virginia on the campus of Liberty University School of Law, and has hundreds of affiliate attorneys around the country. Liberty Counsel has been involved in almost every major battle over same-sex marriage, including the first suit filed to stop San Francisco from performing same-sex marriages. Staver serves on the Board of Trustees for Liberty University, is Chairman of the Law School Steering Committee for Liberty University School of Law, and is Vice President of Law and Policy for Liberty University. On the campus of Liberty University School of Law in Lynchburg, Virginia, Liberty Counsel’s Center for Constitutional Litigation and Policy trains attorneys, law students, policymakers, legislators, clergy, and world leaders in constitutional principles and government policies. In August 2004, Broadman & Holman Publishers released Mat’s new book, Same-Sex Marriage: Putting Every Household at Risk. For more information: http://www.lc.org or 800/671-1776.

Is homosexuality a threat to the family, America?

Despite the usual physical nature of sexuality, homosexuality is based on emotional need instead of sexual need. It involves the most intimate feelings a person can have—attachment to one’s own gender identity. Because this process of identifying and accepting our created gender assignment is vital to our emotional, physical, spiritual, and national well being, deviation from heterosexuality to homosexuality is devastating. The devastation pervades every relationship in which the homosexual man, woman, or child engages.

Abuse or feelings of rejection or alienation often create strife between parent and child at an early age sometimes, resulting in gender confusion. The gender-confused child seeks to correct the growing distance between him/her and his/her same gendered parent by actions that range from total obedience to total disobedience. The emotional chaos of adolescence can cause translation of these feelings and actions into anger and bitterness toward those of the opposite sex; an overwhelming need for same sex affirmation; or even an aversion to one’s own gender assignment. As a result, gender confusion becomes defiant sexual activity (in thought or deed) and sexual satisfaction becomes the placebo for true love and acceptance.

Today we have become overwhelmingly aware that childhood problems create huge stumbling blocks for adults when they are not dealt with in a timely, God-centered way. With relational brokenness of this magnitude going on in childhood it is highly unlikely that normal healthy relationships can be achieved in adulthood by the homosexual youth without God’s guidance. Even for the gender-confused person who has never acted on his sexual temptation, relationships with parents, siblings, spouses, and children will be damaged by the untreated emotional brokenness of homosexuality. America’s national health is predicated on the health of her families. Families who embrace, accept, or try to ignore homosexual sin issues are never healthy. Homosexuality is dangerous to the well being of the family and America.

Nancy Brown serves as Co-director of LifeGuard Ministries (Exodus Member Ministry) in Austin, Texas. She also serves on the Exodus International Leadership Team as the primary writer on the Exodus Media Blog as well as a speaker and teacher. She authored the Exodus International booklet, “Marriage or Mirage.” Nancy and her husband Don have been married 25 years, have five children and one grandchild. Don and Nancy are members of First Baptist Church-Georgetown, Texas.

Should homosexuals adopt children?

The same-sex marriage movement seeks to advance its agenda by adopting or parenting children. Often, people will point to the overcrowded foster care system to support their argument in favor of legalizing same-sex adoption. However, the solution to the foster care problem is not same-sex adoption. Moving children from foster care to same-sex couples may appear to solve one problem, but it will create an even greater problem.

Children raised by homosexual parents face many adverse consequences. As an initial determination of what is in the best interests of children, the increased likelihood of a wide range of diseases (including AIDS, Hepatitis, gonorrhea, and syphilis) and the decreased life expectancy of the adoptive parents must be considered. For example, the adopted child of the first homosexual adoptive parents in New Jersey was orphaned at age five, when both homosexual parents died of disease.

On average, mental illness is more prevalent among the homosexual community. Research shows that homosexuals are three times more likely than heterosexuals to suffer from mood disorders, five times more likely to suffer from bipolar disorders, and twice as likely to suffer from major depression, neuroses, eating disorders, and phobias. Another study showed that children of married couples fared best, and children of homosexual couples did worse in nine out of thirteen surveyed categories, which included language, mathematics, sports, sociability, attitude regarding school and learning, parent-school relationship, sex identity relating to gender roles, school-related support (referring to parents helping with homework), and parents’ aspirations for the children’s education and career goals.

Children of homosexual parents also show increased sexual promiscuity and are therefore at greater risk for teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and AIDS. Recent studies also indicate that a higher proportion of children of homosexual parents are themselves apt to engage in homosexual activity, opening themselves up for increased physical and mental health problems, as well as social challenges.

Finally, studies show that living in a home with a non-biological parent is the most powerful predictor of severe child abuse—both sexual and physical.

The same-sex marriage movement is dangerous to the best interests and well-being of our children and grandchildren. We cannot allow the children to be caught in what is a sexualized political revolution.

Liberty Counsel is a nonprofit litigation, education, and policy organization, whose mission is to restore the culture one case at a time by advancing religious freedom, the sanctity of human life, and the traditional family. Mathew Staver, President and General Counsel, founded Liberty Counsel in 1989. Headquartered in Orlando, Florida, Liberty Counsel has offices in Lynchburg, Virginia on the campus of Liberty University School of Law, and has hundreds of affiliate attorneys around the country. Liberty Counsel has been involved in almost every major battle over same-sex marriage, including the first suit filed to stop San Francisco from performing same-sex marriages. Staver serves on the Board of Trustees for Liberty University, is Chairman of the Law School Steering Committee for Liberty University School of Law, and is Vice President of Law and Policy for Liberty University. On the campus of Liberty University School of Law in Lynchburg, Virginia, Liberty Counsel’s Center for Constitutional Litigation and Policy trains attorneys, law students, policymakers, legislators, clergy, and world leaders in constitutional principles and government policies. In August 2004, Broadman & Holman Publishers released Mat’s new book, Same-Sex Marriage: Putting Every Household at Risk. For more information: http://www.lc.org or 800/671-1776.

Ministry Questions

How can I love homosexuals and hate homosexuality?

Jesus is the perfect example of someone who loved sinners yet hated sin. Jesus confronted much sin but always treated the sinner with love. God hates all sin equally, and perhaps, with regard to loving the homosexual, the first step is simply to acknowledge that homosexual behavior is a sin like any other—including murder, heterosexual sin, lust, envy, covetousness, gossip, etc. People living a homosexual lifestyle are sinners like the rest of us and, like the rest of us, they are people created by God and loved by God. As such, we are called to love in whatever sinful state we happen to find them.

One thing to remember is that almost everyone who has embraced homosexuality as an identity truly believes that they are homosexual to their core. They may or may not see their behavior as sinful, but their perceived homosexual identity, in their minds, is independent of behavior. While we know their belief to be in error, it is “right” to them.

Those trapped in the deception of homosexuality are people in need of healing. They are hurt and broken people who need the touch of the great physician, Jesus Christ. Jesus Himself said that He came not for the healthy, but for the sick. If loving a homosexual is a struggle for you, pray for God to give you His eyes for the homosexual and for your heart to be broken, and not hardened, for the homosexual. He loves them and desires for them to be reconciled to Himself. Pray to have His heart for the homosexual!

Mike Goeke is the Vice President of Operations for Exodus International. Prior to serving at Exodus, Mike was the Executive Pastor at Stonegate Fellowship, an SBC church in Midland, Texas. Mike and his wife, Stephanie, are the parents of three young children.

Is ministry to homosexuals a form of hate-speech?

Absolutely not! It is important for the church to understand that ministering the life changing power of Christ is not hateful but is, instead, the truest form of love. Often, compassionate Christians feel sorry for their friends and family who struggle with homosexuality and, with good intentions, begin to affirm or condone the homosexual lifestyle. But for those who believe in the truth of God’s Word, the reality is that homosexual behavior is a sin and homosexual relationships are outside of God’s design for men and women.

As with any lifestyle that is intentionally focused on sin or that strays beyond God’s design, a lifestyle of homosexuality will lead to ruin. Homosexuality may lead to physical death, but it will surely lead to relational, emotional, and spiritual ruin. True compassion is not passive when someone is involved in a lifestyle that will lead to pain or destruction.

Ministry should be exactly that—ministry. Ministry is by definition the act of serving. Ministry, thus, should be humble, loving, and designed to help people. If we, as Christians, truly believe that Jesus Christ can change a life, then the ultimate form of love we can show is to minister the Gospel of Jesus Christ to everyone in need of salvation, healing, or change. Hate speech is speech designed to hurt. God’s Word is truth designed to heal. There is nothing hateful about that!

Mike Goeke is the Vice President of Operations for Exodus International. Prior to serving at Exodus, Mike was the Executive Pastor at Stonegate Fellowship, an SBC church in Midland, Texas. Mike and his wife, Stephanie, are the parents of three young children.

What can my church do to address homosexuality?

There are many ways for churches to address homosexuality. In fact, churches must address homosexuality if they are to reach homosexuals and share that Christ can change the homosexual! The pastor can play a huge role in addressing homosexuality from the pulpit. It is important for pastors to not solely condemn the sin of homosexuality or to solely speak out against the “gay agenda,” but to always include a message of redemption and hope for change for the homosexual. A compassionate word from the pulpit related to homosexuality can open the doors for ministry to anyone affected by homosexuality.

Christian resources on homosexuality are an excellent means for church members to become educated and for those struggling with homosexuality to find hope and encouragement for change. These are not commonly found in secular or Christian bookstores. However, Regeneration Books, an Exodus referral ministry, offers literally hundreds of solid, biblical books and pamphlets related to homosexuality. These resources can be acquired and placed for sale in church bookstores or added to church libraries.

Also, churches can become educated on homosexuality through speakers or seminars. Exodus has a long list of approved speakers who address various issues related to homosexuality and many Exodus referral ministries are available to conduct classes or seminars as well. (To find an Exodus referral ministry in your area, please visit http://www.exodus.to.)

Finally, the church should address homosexuality the same way it should address any sin—boldly and with love. Homosexuality is not that different from any other sin and need not be singled out. Huge strides in ministry will be accomplished when homosexuality is demystified and the world sees the church treating all sin equally. A church should never call out a sin without offering a solution and hope for change!

Mike Goeke is the Vice President of Operations for Exodus International. Prior to serving at Exodus, Mike was the Executive Pastor at Stonegate Fellowship, an SBC church in Midland, Texas. Mike and his wife, Stephanie, are the parents of three young children.

How do I treat the homosexual activist community?

The Church’s role in society as Salt and Light requires that we both love and resist the homosexual activist community. We’re called to love them by showing respect to them even as we disagree; by refusing to resort to name calling or aspersions when we refer to them; by co-existing with them peacefully whenever possible; and by sharing the gospel with them at every opportunity. But our call to love them does not negate our responsibility to oppose their goal of legitimizing homosexuality, and their tendency to silence all voices of those who disagree. Herein we have the challenge to exhibit grace and truth—the challenge to be truly Christ-like in our response to gay militancy.

For a fuller discussion on our response to homosexual activists, see The Great Evangelical Disaster by Francis Schaeffer (Good News Publishing 1984) and the booklet “How Then Should We Respond?” by Joe Dallas, published by Focus on the Family.

Joe Dallas is the Program Director of Genesis Counseling, an Exodus International member agency in Tustin, California. He is the author of three books on human sexuality, including Desires in Conflict (Harvest House 1991) and A Strong Delusion (Harvest House 1996). He lectures on a national level at churches and conferences, and is a regularly featured speaker with the Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out conference.

Is there a place for the homosexual in the local church?

There should be a place for every sinner in the local church. Jesus came not for the healthy, but for the sick. To close off the church to only those who are “healed” is to miss the point of the Gospel. However, the local church cannot tolerate intentional, purposeful sinful behavior, no matter the form it takes. There are many lifestyle choices that may hinder someone’s ability to serve in the local church. A sexually active homosexual is sinning in the same way a sexually active single heterosexual is sinning. A sexually active homosexual must be biblically confronted with their sin as should anyone actively pursuing sinful activities.

The church must protect the flock and sometimes the greater good means that individuals are negatively impacted. However, it is the rare situation that requires the expulsion of someone from corporate worship. The church is called not to sanitize the world of believers, but to make disciples, no matter how dirty it gets!

It is important to remember that homosexual desires and feelings do not mean someone is a “homosexual.” Homosexual desires may lead one to accept a homosexual identity, but every Christian is first and foremost a child of God. Someone who struggles with unwanted homosexual desires is not a homosexual. Someone who practiced homosexuality in the past is not a homosexual simply because of their past struggles. Temptation is not sin and should not be treated as such. If the church takes each person as it finds them and holds every Christian to the same standard, then the church should have no problem finding a place for anyone in the local church!

Mike Goeke is the Vice President of Operations for Exodus International. Prior to serving at Exodus, Mike was the Executive Pastor at Stonegate Fellowship, an SBC church in Midland, Texas. Mike and his wife, Stephanie, are the parents of three young children.

How can I support those engaged in ministry to homosexuals?

The first step would be to locate individuals or groups engaged in this area of ministry. This may seem obvious, but as a pastor with over 10 years of involvement in this ministry I still find that many churches are either unaware of such ministries or have done nothing to make their existence known to their membership. Consequently, those who need this ministry and those who would like to help have no idea where to turn. A good place to start would be to go to the Exodus website at http://www.exodus.to and click on “Find a ministry.”

Once you have located the individual or ministry, seek to build a relationship. Find out their needs. Over the years we’ve had many electric organs dropped off as donations to our church. Since we haven’t used an electric organ in over 20 years, we then have to find a way to dispose of it. Don’t just assume that what you want to offer is what is needed.

Be willing to volunteer. While it may take time to work into actual ministry, I’ve yet to find a ministry that is not in need of ordinary tasks such as stuffing envelopes, answering phones, helping with computer maintenance and technology, or helping plan fellowship events.

Be willing to help them make contacts, find opportunities to speak, and get articles into church newsletters.

Pray. Ask what specific needs they have for which you can pray and enlist others to pray. Pray for God’s protection and provision for that ministry.

Be a friend. For many reasons this ministry can be one of the most demanding in the church. Leaders often feel isolated. The church too often has not come alongside and the culture resents their very existence. The continual demands of this ministry can create tremendous pressure and loneliness. A timely phone call, e-mail, or invitation to lunch can make a huge difference.

Bob Stith is the pastor of Carroll Baptist Church in Southlake, Texas. He has a bachelor’s degree from Samford University and an M.Div. from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. Bob has been involved in Exodus International for over 10 years. He has spoken at many churches and Exodus related events. He has also written several articles on the subject of homosexuality and the church. Bob is chairman of the board for Living Hope Ministries, an Exodus-affiliated ministry in Dallas-Fort Worth. Bob and his wife, Del, live in Southlake, Texas.

How can the church support those engaged in ministry to homosexuals?

The first step would be to locate individuals or groups engaged in this area of ministry. This may seem obvious, but as a pastor with over 10 years of involvement in this ministry I still find that many churches are either unaware of such ministries or have done nothing to make their existence known to their membership. Consequently, those who need this ministry and those who would like to help have no idea where to turn. A good place to start would be to go to the Exodus website at http://www.exodus.to and click on “Find a ministry.”

Second, do all you can to help make the ministry and its members feel welcome. After attending Living Hope Ministries, the Exodus affiliate in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, for several years, a businessman in Dallas was shocked to discover his church had a group for those who struggled with homosexuality. He had been a member there for over 10 years and had never heard of the group. Consequently, not only was he left without help in his struggle with homosexuality, the secrecy helped perpetuate the sense of shame that many who struggle with this sin feel.

Third, encourage your church to allow the ministry to participate in mission fairs. Have the director share his vision with the congregation. Set aside a service or a portion of a service for testimonies from those who have learned to walk in victory. Many church members have never heard an ex-gay share his or her story.

Fourth, encourage your church to support these ministries financially. While most evangelical Christians are well aware that this is one of the biggest challenges facing the church today, financial support from churches is almost nonexistent. The Dallas-Fort Worth area has one of the largest and best organized gay communities in the nation. The largest gay church in the world is in Dallas and is currently involved in a multi-million dollar expansion. Conversely, the Exodus-related ministry in this area has minimal funding support from only five churches.

One former ministry director told me how difficult it was to try to reach the gay community. His “office” was a converted supply closet. He was using cast off equipment that had been donated. He received virtually no salary and supported himself and the ministry with a full-time job. Consequently, he was dealing with a high level of frustration and hopelessness.

Most ministries recognize the tremendous challenge of being there to help strugglers who desire to be free. They also recognize the need to do more to help in prevention, to educate the church, and to help a deceived culture see and hear truth that most have never encountered. The lack of resources makes this an overwhelming if not impossible task. If we are to reverse the tide in our world, we must respond to this need.

Bob Stith is the pastor of Carroll Baptist Church in Southlake, Texas. He has a bachelor’s degree from Samford University and an M.Div. from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. Bob has been involved in Exodus International for over 10 years. He has spoken at many churches and Exodus related events. He has also written several articles on the subject of homosexuality and the church. Bob is chairman of the board for Living Hope Ministries, an Exodus-affiliated ministry in Dallas-Fort Worth. Bob and his wife, Del, live in Southlake, Texas.

How can the church support those who are coming out of homosexuality?

The first step would be to locate individuals or groups engaged in this area of ministry. This may seem obvious, but as a pastor with over 10 years of involvement in this ministry I still find that many churches are either unaware of such ministries or have done nothing to make their existence known to their membership. Consequently, those who need this ministry and those who would like to help have no idea where to turn. A good place to start would be to go to the Exodus website at http://www.exodus.to and click on “Find a ministry.”

Secondly, do all that you can to help make the ministry and its members feel welcome. After attending Living Hope ministries, the Exodus affiliate in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, for several years, a businessman in Dallas was shocked to discover his church had a group for those who struggled with homosexuality. He had been a member there for over 10 years and had never heard of the group. Consequently, not only was he left without help in his struggles with homosexuality, the secrecy helped perpetuate the sense of shame that many who struggle with this sin feel.

Third, churches should allow the ministry to participate in mission fairs. Have the director share his vision with the congregation. Set aside a service or a portion of a service for testimonies from those who have learned to walk in victory. Many church members have never heard an ex-gay share their story.

Fourth, churches also should support these ministries financially. While most evangelical Christians are well aware that this is one of the biggest challenges facing the church today, financial support from churches is almost non-existent. The Dallas-Fort Worth area has one of the largest and best organized gay communities in the nation. The largest gay church in the world is in Dallas. They are currently involved in a multi-million dollar expansion. Conversely, the only Exodus-related ministry in this area has minimal funding support from only five churches.

Fifth, the local church body should volunteer. While it may take time to work into actual ministry, I’ve yet to find a ministry that is not in need of ordinary tasks such as stuffing envelopes, answering phones, helping with computer maintenance and technology, or helping plan fellowship events. The local church can help them make contacts, find opportunities to speak, and get articles into church newsletters.

Sixth, ask what specific needs they have for which the church can pray and include these requests in prayer lists. Pray specifically for these individual requests and ask God’s protection and provision for that ministry during weekly prayer meetings.

Finally, be a mentor. You may feel that you know nothing about homosexuality and have nothing to offer. But I’ve heard many testimonies of overcomers who have been helped by an “ever-straight” Christian coming alongside and showing genuine love.

Much of the personal struggle against same-sex attractions is about legitimate relationship needs met in sinful ways. Be willing to be vulnerable and you may discover that your struggles aren’t so different. Loneliness, lust, and fear are much the same regardless of the basis for the temptation.

Spend time with those who struggle with unwanted same-sex attraction. Invite them into your home. Share meals together. Be a friend.

Bob Stith is the pastor of Carroll Baptist Church in Southlake, Texas. He has a bachelor’s degree from Samford University and an M.Div. from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. Bob has been involved in Exodus International for over 10 years. He has spoken at many churches and Exodus related events. He has also written several articles on the subject of homosexuality and the church. Bob is chairman of the board for Living Hope Ministries, an Exodus-affiliated ministry in Dallas-Fort Worth. Bob and his wife, Del, live in Southlake, Texas.

Further Learning

Learn more about: Family, Sexual Purity, Homosexuality, Citizenship, Christian Citizenship, National, Social Issues

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